Writer's Yard Sale

by E.E. Kennedy 

HERE IT IS! TODAY ONLY!

WRITER’S YARD SALE!

Slightly used author’s items available at bargain prices!

Welcome! Did you see my sign? Is it close enough to the road? Good. Well, yes, we do have a lot of stuff here. Let me show you what I’ve got. You can get some great buys. Just take a look around.

 For instance, over here, I have a large, slightly shop-worn ego. No, I don’t have the original box, but it’s still in working order. It took a lot of hits over the past year. I regret that I put it out where it was so vulnerable to the elements. Even in this condition, it’ll give you quite a few more good years. It’s yours, if the price is right.

That table over there? Those are the hats I’ve worn. This publicist’s hat, for instance. I had to wear it a lot this year. It was pretty expensive, let me tell you. I can give you a deal on it. Oh, that eyeshade? That’s my editor’s hat. It’s gotten a lot of use. That pointy hat? No, it’s not Harry Potter’s. It’s my thinking cap. I used that as much as my editor’s shade. It kept slipping over my eyes so I couldn’t see the clock. I missed a lot of deadlines that way. But it works. Boy, does it work!

 Check out this coffee can here. Give me a reasonable price and you can have everything that’s in it: almost a pound of miscellaneous adverbs. They’re perfectly good, just superfluous. I cleaned them out of my most recent story. Too many of those things and the work is done for, you know. They’d work perfectly well for a story that needs them, though.

 That box of grandiose adjectives? Those are free for the taking. They’re really pretty, but  a little too fancy for me. I tend to be a little more plain when it comes to writing. Sure, it’s yours; just put the carton in your trunk.

 Well, I’d like to get something for those used similes. They’re a little worn around the edges, but serviceable. So are those idioms. Colorful, aren’t they? Pretty decorative when you use ‘em right.

 Look at this box of paper over here. I’d say it’s about a ream. Those sheets would be great for scrap paper. No, you don’t need to turn that over…well, yes, it’s a rejection. They all are. Got a fireplace? You could twist them and use them to get the logs burning. The twisting part is very therapeutic, I’ve found. So is the burning part, come to think of it.

 Could you use these empty liquor bottles? They’d make pretty good candle holders. That’s about all they’re good for. I tried looking for plots at the bottom of them, but no luck.

 Oh, that’s the garbage can. It’s where I threw the double negatives, dangling participles and wasted time. I couldn’t even give those to charity in good conscience. You can’t use ‘em.

 That? I’m giving that away, too. No, it’s not a footstool or a door stop. It’s a giant economy size writer’s block. So far, I haven’t had any takers. You want it? Make an offer? No?

 Well, anyway, it was good of you to stop by. I’ll be here ‘til long past midnight.

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E.E. Kennedy is the author of the Miss Prentice Cozy Mystery Series.

Her newest release is INCOMPLETE SENTENCE.

You can read sample chapters at her website: www.missprenticecozymystery.com

(Originally published at www.thewordsmithjournalmagazine.co)

Ready for the Olympics. Grab your broomsticks!

Sochi? Here we come. Having recently finished an Olympic themed book, I'm looking forward to the big event. The Games are soon to be in full swing featuring a platoon of ferociously determined skaters, the excruciatingly rugged cross country skiers and a sport which I can only describe as… adorable: Curling. Yes, curling dates back to medieval Scotland, and yes, it probably involves more strategy and savvy than any other sport, hence its nickname as “chess on ice” but I cannot help but be completely enchanted by the charming qualities of a sport that utilizes brooms and something called hog lines.

              The Point of the Game: After arduous research,  I  conclude that the goal of the game is to finesse ones sixteen stones closer to the center of the house than the other teams. How hard could it be? Plenty hard. First you’ve got to spray down that lovely smooth ice surface with water droplets to “pebble the ice.” A zambonie driver’s worst nightmare, but necessary to make the hurled stones “curl” in one direction or another.  Then you’ve got your centre line (fancy spelling intentional)  and two other lines charmingly entitled the “hog lines.” Not to be forgotten are the “hacks” which are important  rubbery spots used by the curlers for traction, otherwise you’ve got some poor hapless curler trying to find a toe hold on an iceberg.  Players throw a stone in a graceful sliding movement. Right handers start with the right foot in the left hack and lefties go for the left foot in the right hack. They do the hacky sacky and they turn themselves around. That’s what it’s all about. 

What's your favorite Olympic winter sport? 

STRONG WOMEN

What a beautiful day!  Brilliant September sunshine, bright blue skies, and 80 degrees—after days of blistering heat, this is wonderful! Eastern Iowa is one of the best-kept secrets in the US, with its quiet back roads, deeply rolling hills, timber and sparkling creeks.  People mix up Iowa, Ohio, and Idaho all the time when I say where I'm from, and even when they know its Iowa, they think of flat farm fields and livestock.  But that's okay…being a secret keeps life more peaceful here! :)

We live out in the country, and my office windows look out on our wood-fenced corrals and the pastures beyond, where the three horses are grazing, their summer-slick coats gleaming in the sunshine.  Across the fence, a dozen beautiful, wildly marked paint weanlings are romping in the neighbor's pastures--providing no end of amusement to our border collie, who is always safely contained in our yard or on our deck. 

The moment he sees them, Elmo is a study in total concentration.  Head low, ears pricked, body crouched, he stares at them for hours on end, his intensity deepening when they scatter. Our son Brian says we need to buy two sheep, so Elmo can spend his days keeping them together.  He is a dog with a mission--but one without a job.  Which got me thinking, this morning.  Elmo knows what he is and what he needs to do.  He never loses sight of that, even though he can't get close to anything he can herd.

What about the rest of us...are we blessed with direction and determination from the beginning?  Have we followed through?  Or have some of us found our true desires later in life?  My daughter is already determined to be a writer.  She is now midway through writing her second full manuscript while in the midst of graduate school studies, so I have no doubt that she has the drive, and that she can reach her goal if she stays on course.  I didn't start writing until we had grade-school aged children...and wish I'd started much, much sooner.   

The heroines in our books, here at suspensesisters, are all (or become, in the course of their story) strong women determined to pursue their goals.  How about you?  What would you love to do?  Have you followed your heart?  Become what you want to be?  Is there something you could do toward that goal now, even if it can't be achieved any time soon? I think real-life stories about strong, determined women are so empowering.  And now, I'd love to hear about you! 

Roxanne

www.roxannerustand.com