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Friday, February 21, 2020

The Dog Who Saved My Life

In April, it will be six years since my husband died. Grief and trauma have a profound effect on mind, body and soul. After he died, I slept all the time and getting up in the morning was a daunting task. One thing got me out of bed. My border collie pawing at the door or pacing the floor telling me "enough already, I need to pee." That is why I call him, the dog who saved my life.

This blog post is not about the loss of my husband; it is about how much pets add to our lives. Bart was a rescue dog that we got at eight weeks. The only thing we know about him is that he and his mother were found abandoned in an empty house that had been a rental. Shortly after we got him, my husband was diagnosed with cancer. So he came into the house filled with stress. In many ways, he didn't get the kind of attention he deserved. All the same, he has shown up for me and for my kids. He's tuned into my emotions so much so that if I have a moment of sadness he senses it and comes to sit in my lap. He's good company at the end of the day. He sits beside me on the couch while I pick a show to watch. He never rolls his eyes at my selection though he prefers movies with horses, sheep and barking dogs. He's a good listener. When I talk to him, he turns his head to one side as though he totally understands. I like to run my story ideas by him. I keep telling him that we like the UPS man because he brings good things to us, but he does not agree. If he hears the UPS truck even blocks away, he starts to bark.

I can't imagine life without him. He really is my first dog. We had dogs growing up but they were family dogs who mostly stayed outside. How about you? How has your pet added to your life? In honor of dogs, I will be giving away a copy of my K9 book Courage Under Fire which is part of a series that take place in Queens, New York. Leave a comment with your email address and I will pick a winner. 

40 comments:

  1. I don't know what I would have done without pets in my life!! Going home to our fur babies is the best end to each and every day. Just to hear their little toe nails on the floor as they run to the back door to great us, tails and butt wagging LOL!!! It is simply the best......
    pj.rodgers@yahoo.com

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  2. I love this! My mom has a border collie service dog that alerts when her blood sugar is too high or low. She is amazing and a part of the family! shanna_d2003@yahoo.com

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  3. I love dogs. Our dog passed away two years ago and we've had a difficult time replacing her.
    cluedn@embarqmail.com

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  4. What a sweetheart your border collie is! My rescue kitties are my fur babies.

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  5. Pets are life savers. In 1996 on Valentine’s Day my I had a dental appointment and was still groggy from anesthetic when I came home. My cat awakened me by digging her claws into my thigh when a fire broke out in our kitchen/ family room. I would have been overcome by the smoke before the fire if she hadn’t awakened me. (The fire was caused by a short in the electrical wiring).

    In 2011 I had a beloved family and or a dear friend die every month as will as my husband divorcing me. I truly depended on the unwavering love and devotion of my two rescue dogs during this time. Buster Brown was a 75 pd American Staffordshire Terrier and the biggest love bug. Sadly, he has passed away. Cassie is a 10 pd chihuahua. She is my constant companion. We are both middle aged seniors.

    This sounds like such a good book.
    Thank you for the chance to win.

    phoneticpanda(at)gmail(dot)com

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  6. Hi Sharon,
    I understand all too well how important dogs can be in helping us cope with grief. My Fenway is almost 12, but we nearly lost him to cancer at 7. I call him my miracle dog because the oncology ver said no dog had ever lived past a year with his kind of cancer, and we're on year 5. Sadly, my husband didn't have his miracle recovery.

    On another note, I love the cover for your book. I attended the World's Fair in Queens as a young child and spent a lot of time in front of that globe.

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  7. This sounds like a really good book

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  8. Always enjoy your books, Sharon, and also feel I know you a little more because of our recent correspondence:) This book sounds very intriguing. One of our sons has a Golden Retriever, which we get to dog-sit a few times a year, which we enjoy doing. . . Thanks for the great opportunity to enter a giveaway! Would love to win a print book! God bless! Lual Krautter krautter12ATbresnanDOTnet

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  9. Bart sounds like the perfect companion. I'm like you, I've only had one dog that was my dog. When she died, it broke my heart. I haven't got up the nerve to adopt another one. :(
    RW620 AT aol DOT com

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  10. Love our dogs! One of our Queensland Heelers who is not a trained alert dog will alert me when I am having low blood sugar.

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  11. The last dog we had was our daughters. When she was killed at the age of 17 in a car accident, he was out link to her and became extra special to us. We did all we could, including taking him 200 miles to a special vet, to keep him with us for as long as we could and that he still had a good quality of life. Turning his loose was like losing a part of Jenet all over. We just didn't see how we could get another dog.

    Fast forward several years. Wounds heal and the desire to have something to love takes over. We decide to start looking for a little chihuahua so that we could just pick it up and take it with us in the travels we hoped to do some day. On January 2004, we picked up Snickerdoodle who stole our hearts from the first time we saw him.

    My Dad was ok with dogs, but I'd never seen him attach to one like he did Snickerdoodle. They were constant companions. Often they were both asleep, with Snickerdoodle on Dad's chest, in the recliner while Mom and I was cleaning house or baking. Just a few short months later my Dad went to his heavenly home. Snickerdoodle went to live temporarily with Mom to keep her company and to help with her grief until one day she said it was time for him to go home.

    Again fast forward a couples years, Mom comes to live with us after cancer surgery and the onset of Alzheimer. Snickerdoodle and she became constant companions with him rarely not at her side. She never forgot him when everything else faded from her mind. The night before she died, she told him she loved him and gave him a kiss.

    After being a 24/7 caregiver for 5 years to Mom, there was a terrible void in our life. Snickerdoodle not only filled it but gave us something to smile about.

    Snickerdoodle is now 15 and has a lot of issues. He's a diabetic on insulin twice a day. He has cataracts and if almost blind. His hearing is very little - even if we do say it's selective at times. He has arthritis in his hind legs and feet which causes him to move around slowly on these cold days - which is not quite a bad thing because so are we. However, he is the apple of our eye. He came into or life when the time was right and he's been the love of everyone in our family when they needed it the most. Can't even begin to think of life without him. Know the time will come, but will try to take comfort in knowing that when he crosses the rainbow bridge that he's greeted there by Jenet, Mom and Dad.
    2clowns at arkansas dot net

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    1. Love the name Snickerdoodle. Dogs add so much to our lives. so sorry about your daughter

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  12. Dogs are the best! In my whole 64 years, I have never been without a dog. They love you, they are comforting...absolutely the best!!!!
    mauback55 at gmail dot com

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  13. While I haven't had a dog for many years, when my husband and I first married, we asked friends for one of their puppies. We knew the mother dog and thought she was precious, and we felt the same about our Puppy. She alerted me to a peeping tom looking in the window of the apartment below us, alerted me to a pan on the stove making spitting sounds when the water had all cooked out of it, and alerted me to anyone approaching our house after we moved into a house. She barked enthusiastically long before the doorbell ever rang. We enjoyed playing with her and loving on her. Once when my husband was out of town on a business trip and Atlanta was in the midst of an ice storm, she and I hunkered down in the den in front of the fireplace because the electricity had gone off and we were alone in a cold house. She was great company--comforting and warm. I really miss her sweetness! susiesellner at gmail dot com

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  14. I was NOT going to get another dog after I had to say "goodbye" to the last one...but, my daughter & son in law moved in w/ me (emergency circumstances for them)2015 & brought a little rescue dog one of their housemates had found shivering by a dumpster. The little dog had picked my son in law as her "person!" When they moved out, over a year later, they took her w/ them, & she backed down 2 pit bulls at their new residence & the relative there said she couldn't stay, so she came right back to my house & has been here ever since! She only weighs 5½#, but thinks she's a big watch dog! :) She's great company for this single Nana! Badawson16 at aol dot com

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  15. I haven't had a dog for a number of years. I had one growing up, and my older children did as well. It was very hard losing them and a cat or two as well. I now have 2 small children and being older and my husband working an odd shift, I hesitate to take a new one on until they are older. Part of me doesn't want to after losing a dog very much like you describe. I don't want to go through that hurt again, but I know I cannot deny these 2 little ones the joy of a dog to run and play with and snuggle with.
    nstotts@sbcglobal.net

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  16. The first dog in our home was a Gold Retriever, Diamond, who was my daughter’s 8th birthday present. She was with us for 12 years when she passed away outside, lying in her favorite spot. As our daughter was already in college now, we didn’t think another dog was a needed... Oh well, Rikki, our Blue Aussie, came home to live with us when we rescued her at 5 weeks old. She is now 9 and sleeps beside me as I write this, close by if leave my desk and under my bed at night. I’m not quite sure what I would do without her ❤️🐶

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  17. I've never been very close to any animals. I do miss the dogs who are truly caring and polite. I enjoy cats that want to cuddle and purr.

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  18. cute dog
    bn100candg at hotmail dot com

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  19. I have owned lots of dogs. The smartest one was Willie a Jack Russell terrier and the sweetest disposition one was Chama, a Norwegian Elkhound.
    jwisley(at)aol(dot)com

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  20. I cannot imagine life without my dogs. At one point we had 6 but we are down to 3, all inside dogs. Why have a dog if they don't share your home with you? All our dogs are rescues or strays-one followed my husband home from a church league softball game. We previously fostered for a local group that sends shelter dogs to rescues near Philly and in Jersey City. but we had some issues with our latest rescue dog so we have backed off for awhile. It is so fulfilling to take an abandoned dog and see them adopted. I keep in touch with the new owners and I see the progress the dogs make. They have helped me so much more than I can help them.

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  21. Forgot my email. wvteddy@hotmail.com

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  22. My first dog was a Sheltie that I had growing up, and he was so smart--I didn't fully realize how much so until years later. I currently have a yellow lab, who is my quirky service dog.
    litteraegaudium(at)aol(dot)com

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  23. My husband and I have been married 32 years and have had five dogs over the course of our marriage. The two boys we have now are 5 & 9 yrs old. The previous 3 died of old age. We enjoy their companionship, loyalty, and their unique personalities. I can't imagine life without them and as we get older, knowing eventually there'll come a time when we can't "have" dogs anymore, well - I just don't want to think about it! I love all breeds of dogs so I hope to end up with a toy breed on a leash attached to my walker someday. :)

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  24. I had a couple of dogs growing up too but living in apartments by myself was more conducive to having cats. I met my hubby and we got married in 2004. In 2005 I had a major flare up of my arthritis and fibromyalgia that caused me to have to quit working. I was depressed and bored with being at home. We had just lost his mom's dog who we inherited after she passed away, so I suggested getting a dog to help him! We picked out a puppy but I didn't think we were going to get her. My sweet hubby had worked it out with the humane society to get her for me as a surprise for our first anniversary! He sent me on an elaborate scavenger hunt and at the end I found her papers. She would be ours the next day. That dog saved my life too! She was smart and easy to train and meant the world to me! She helped get me over my depression and gave me something to do to get me off the couch or out of bed. She was truly the best dog, but tragically we lost her in 2018 at the age of 13. There will truly never be another like her. We got another puppy a month later though because I know how good dogs are for me. IF I'd have only known what a stinker that puppy would be!! LOL!! We love Lily but there will never, ever be another Abigail! clhutson1016(at)gmail(dot)com.

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  25. Oh how I miss our golden retriever/Rhodesian ridgeback who not only cared for us and gave us joy but loved and watched over our foster baby boy and our kittie foster fur babies. I don't think there will ever be another dog like him!

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  26. We have a half schnauzer and half ?? He is such a good boy, his name is Honeybear! My husband got him for me as a surprise when he was about 7 weeks old, my husband heard on the radio that a man was giving some puppies away, so without my knowing he went and he brought one of them home. It had been less then a month that we had lost our other fur baby who was 7 years old, he got run over, it was a couple of days before the 4th of July, we were out of town and Cinnamon was his name, he was also a rescue baby, my daughter and my son in law got him for me because my daughter had just gotten married. I was so attached and I love my Cinnamon so much, and it was so very hard losing him. My husband had been telling me that we should get another fur baby,(my husband knew I was very sad) but I kept telling him that I didn't want another one. Well, it was like a month or so after my Cinnamon had passed away when my husband heard on our local radio station that they were giving puppies away, anyways he came home with one without my knowing. We were eating dinner at home and where my husband sits to eat ,he can see out the from window , so all of a sudden he went to the front door which I have my back to and I just kept on eating. (the puppy had gotten out of the gate) when my husband came back in he put something in the back of my neck, I had no idea what it was, I could feel some breathing in the back of my neck, I did not want to turn around because my husband is known to bring praying mantises , tarantulas or other insects in the house for us to look at. Well, I turned around and he was holding the cutest little puppy, I told him I wasn't ready for a puppy, but deep down inside I really was, and that was the beginning of my love for our Honeybear, I am so very Thankful and grateful my husband brought Honeybear home. When my husband got Honeybear for me he was still working, he is retired now. Honeybear is so sweet and such a Very good companion, we have him indoors, he weighs about 23 lbs, and it is 23lbs of pure love. I missed our Cinnamon boy a lot, I think I could have fallen into a depression , if my husband hadn't brought Honeybear home. Anyways the man my husband got Honeybear from was giving the litter of puppies because they weren't full blood Schnauzers, all I can say is his loss and our Greatest gain. My email address is : aliciabhaney@sbcglobal.net aliciabhaney(at)sbcglobal(dot)net Thank you for the chance. <3

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  27. I locked myself out of the house. Sent Rory through the door flap. Most useful fetch ever.


    marypres(AT)gmail(DOT)com

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  28. I love dogs! Ours died four months ago, we really miss him.

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  29. I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. I know all about grief all to well. We had some dogs growing up, they were family ones. The last one we had could always tell which one of kids (There were seven of us!) were sad because she hung around us more. My daughter and I would love to have a dog but our landlord won't allow us to have one here.
    duellonlysisataoldotcom

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  30. I’m thankful you had your pet to comfort you. My cat Trouble helps me get through the loss of my daddy in November. Petting her helps with my anxiety.

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  31. I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. We had a sweet, very personable black lab....she would sleep on the bottom of our bed. She had several antics...one time she on her hind legs reached up and opened the drawer of my husband's dresser and got a bag of candies( luckily was mostly hard candy, ate most of it and came home with her eating a lollipop.
    putt911@att.net

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  32. In early the 1980's, I received a Doberman puppy from my childhood best friend. She thought the dog would be good company for me, and a great family dog. I searched for a name and settled on Schautzie, my best attempt at the German word for sweetheart. That was a truly prophetic choice. A few years after she became part of our family I became seriously ill. Schautzie knew instinctively when I was having a really bad day. She would sit in front of me looking deeply into my eyes. I swear she was communicating compassion and love through those eyes. She never left my side leaning against me with her dog hugs. No one honestly understood how badly I was suffering. She did. As I began to improve, she began sharing her love with the rest of our family. I loved that dog more than any dog I ever had. She and I became one. When she died it broke my heart. It took me five years to grieve before I could even consider another dog in my life. She was a one in a lifetime companion.

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  33. We had dogs growing up but I've had cats for several years now. It's not that I don't like dogs because I really do. It's more that cats suit my independent personality and don't require the level of care that dogs do. I'm glad you have a companion that brings comfort and joy to your life. Thanks for the chance to win a copy of your book. Boxtopscrazy at gmail dot com.

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  34. Dogs are amazing! My most recent one died several years ago, and I still miss her. Unfortunately, getting another dog anytime soon isn't in the cards. :-(

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  35. I grew up with a really sweet dog, but she was an outside dog as well. In my adult years, I've rescued many cats and kept a few. I'm down to one sweet kitty now. My dad recently passed away, and as I'm helping my mom through her grief, we each have a cat who is our companion. Our cats sense our emotions and cuddle up with us and purr to calm us, do silly things to make us laugh, and follow us everywhere to make sure we know we are watched over. Pets are such blessings!

    patchesdanny (at)yahoo (dot com)

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  36. When my husband and I got married, we had two dogs. Boo became my shadow and was in tune to my emotions. She would come put her head on my knee when I was sad. What a sweet dog! Vivian Furbay jtandviv (at) q (dot) com

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