by Sharon Dunn
On April 6, 2014, he died of cancer after having battled it for four years. He was 58. I am grateful for the nearly 27 years of marriage we had together and for the three children that share many of his quirks and personality traits. I am grateful to have known what it was like to be loved unconditionally.
Losing Michael when I was 49 and living as a widow is the hardest thing I have faced in my life. I don't ever stop missing him, and I think about him everyday. Sometimes it's a joyful thought when a good memory of us together comes back to me or I hear a song or meet someone and I think Michael would have loved that song or that person. Sometimes the thought is a sad one where I feel his absence. If our kids have a great victory or a struggle, I wish he was here to experience it with me. I miss the way he could talk me off of any emotional ledge I got myself onto with a hug and saying, "It'll be alright." The photo is of Michael on our wedding day.
We all face hard things sooner or later in our lives. It is not a comfortable life where everything goes as planned that brings us closer to God. It is in our suffering and our loss that we identify more clearly with Jesus. A hard sell in America where the prosperity gospel infuses most church teaching to one degree or another. I don't know what people without Jesus and the hope of heaven lean on when this kind of loss happens. How about you? What loss has most affected you?
Please leave a comment and your email address. I will be giving away copies of my soon to be released book Kidnapped in Montana.
Oh, I know exactly what loss feels like! (Although, I didn’t lose a spouse. I lost my parents, four of my six brothers and my favorite cousin in less than years, several of the people within two years time. The brother I was closest to (Also close age wise-18 months apart.), when passed away his death devastated me. It took over five years to through that. His death did get me back in church and closer to Him.
ReplyDeleteI will always miss my family and I’m starting to see and remember good things that make me happy and not cry. Losing someone is so hard no matter who they are!
duellonlysis at aol dot com
that's a lot of loss in a short amount of time. so glad it drew you closer to God
DeleteI've had several family members die of cancer. It's got to be really hard when it's a spouse. I'm so sorry for your loss. cheetahthecat1982ATgmailDOTcom
ReplyDeleteAs one of my friends said "I hate cancer" It's hard to watch someone become weaker. They leave us by degrees.
DeleteMy first major loss was losing my maternal grandmother. My faith was definitely what helped me get through. Since then, I have suffered more losses and again my faith has gotten me through them. cherierj(at)yahoo(dot)com
ReplyDeleteMy father in law died ftom cancer in '98. It was a tough loss. My husband had encephalitis in 2006 that left him with an acquired brain injury. Eventually, he lost his youth pastor job and we lost our home and many of our possessions. Father loved us through it all and still helps us survive each day.
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ReplyDeletebn100candg at hotmail dot com
I'm so sorry for your loss. Last month my mom lost a close cousin who was like a sister to her since my mother had no siblings.
ReplyDeletedianah7272 at gmail dot com
Your husband sounds like a wonderful guy! I'm so glad that the Lord blessed you with him. My biggest losses have been a miscarriage and my grandparents Home going. It sure makes Heaven sweeter!
ReplyDeleteI'm looking forward to reading your newest release!
Blessings!
carrottopfromtexas2@gmail.com
You hit a deep cord with me. I was widowed at 45 and raised a 3 and 15 year old alone. Life is HARD and I don't know how people manage without God in their lives. God bless you in all ways... "The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26
ReplyDeleteMary Gessner
that is a lot to deal with. We have similar stories.
DeleteI'm so very sorry for you loss! I sincerely appreciate you sharing your story. I have had two losses that have been difficult - finding out my husband of 35 yrs had a secret addiction and chronic health issue which changed my life. But God has sustained my even on the darkest at days when putting one foot in front of the other was difficult. Ps 121 always comforts me as only the Lord can help us navigate the difficult waters.
ReplyDeleteThe loss that most affected me was when my best friend died in 2016. Heidi had been sick for a long time, in and out of the hospital and rehab. She got sepsis and went downhill quickly. We always talked on the phone several times a week and got together at least twice a month. Having to go the hospital or rehab to see her broke my heart because she was so fragile. But she would laugh and joke with me and I would read to her and we would comment together about what was wrong with this or that scene. I miss her every day…talk to her photo sometimes and think about what I would tell her about the current events in my life. My husband planted her favorite flower in our front yard and it blooms every year around her birthday. We thought that I would go first because I had a stroke in 2015, but Heidi paved the way and showed me how to die with grace and dignity and compassion for others. watts.vickie@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteCINDY MERRILL: I lost my Dad too soon at age 59. It was a very difficult time for me and my four siblings.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing about your husband. It sounds like he was a wonderful and godly man. I'm so sorry for your loss! Even though I haven't had to go through the loss of a husband, I lost a most beloved Mom in 2010. She was the picture of a Proverbs 31 woman to me and poured her love out on my Dad, my three brothers and me. Then, my Dad passed a year ago this past November. I miss them both so much every day. I love your comment about the suffering we experience helps us to identify with our Lord Jesus. It's so true! And, He uses our suffering to draw us closer to Him and perfect us in Him. I'm so grateful that He's my Lord and Savior! I don't know how people get through suffering without Him. He's our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1). Than you again for sharing with us! God bless you! wileyluvstabby at comcast dot net
ReplyDeleteThis is a wonderful tribute to your husband and your marriage. I don't know how people get through such losses without faith in God. My faith, which is not always what it should be, is what gets me through each day but especially through the losses we endure in life. I won't go into mine because we all have losses. Thank you for sharing with us!
ReplyDeleteI forgot to leave my email address with my comment. frazierhlhs@yahoo.com
DeleteI am so happy that you had such a great relationship and keep him close through memories!!!! I am blessed to have had no real close losses thus far. Every day I know I’m blessed!!! Losing my sweet grandma was my hardest loss. The way she passed was unacceptable in the home of one of her children. That’s the hardest part of the loss. char loves mark at gmail dot com
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. Michael sounds like he was an incredible person.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. Michael sounds like a wonderful, loving, caring husband and father. I lost my Mom 15 months ago. A day does not go by that I do not miss her. April 14 would have been her 86th birthday. Thank you so much for sharing. Hugs. dpruss@prodigy.net
ReplyDeleteFor me (and hubby) is was the sudden death our our daughter. She was 17, a senior in high school with her whole life before her. She was killed in an automobile accident and our lives changed in that instant and forever. She was our only child and my parent's only grandchild. She was cherished and I'm sure just a little bit spoiled, but she was also the most giving person and had such high goals she wanted to achieve. It's now been 36 years. It seems like a lifetime ago - over 2 of her lifetimes - at times and then something will bring it back like it was yesterday. Everyone else's life went on, but in many ways, ours stopped at her death. We go on - one day at a time, but able to smile and live on this earth because we know some day we will be with her again. I wouldn't want to face life without having that knowledge.
ReplyDelete2clowns at arkansas dot net
I am so very sorry for your loss! I can't imagine losing my husband.
ReplyDeleteI miscarried babies in 2007, and that was hard, but my pregnancy (through IVF) was only a few weeks along. Then March 17, 2023, my grandma passed away. While we lived far away from each other, we talked on the phone almost every week. She prayed for us every day. I miss her terribly.
The hardest loss I have ever experienced, though, so far, was on February 8, 2024. I was a home health nurse (basically a nanny with nursing skills) for the same little boy for 8½ years before I "retired" to stay home with my daughter in September, 2022. He was "my baby" until my daughter came along, and his family all called me his "second mom." He died from chronic health issues, but it was sudden and unexpected. He had just turned 10 years old in December. I miss him so much, and my 3½ year old daughter misses him as well, which makes it even more difficult. The grief has been overwhelming, but I know he is in Heaven and I will see him again.
Heather Mitchell crhbmitchellfam at gmail dot com
that's heartbreaking when someone so young dies.
DeleteMy Husband 16 years ago we was married for 35 years and he had a massive heart attack while we were working in the garden he was only 52 Many Blessings and Prayers coming to you Sharon
ReplyDeleteOh, my goodness. Sounds like my journey to a T. My husband was a Pastor and was 56 when he died. I just repeat your words almost word for word. It will be 14 years this Aug. Not a day goes by without a thought of him.
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