Kristen here. When crafting my heroine for Watch Your Back, I initially thought she and I did not have much in common. Avery Reynolds is a self-made private investigator, while I’m a former English teacher and stay-at-home mom. She holds a grudge against God and won’t let Him or anyone else get close because of scars from her past. Though my Christian walk is far from perfect, I’m grateful that I came to know Jesus Christ as my Savior at a young age.
As I pressed further into Avery’s story, though, I discovered an unexpected kinship: her mistakes aren’t that different from some of my own. Perhaps you can relate to these as well.
Mistake #1: Making Assumptions instead of Seeking to Understand
At the shared Airbnb for their mutual friends’ wedding party, Avery stumbles upon Coast Guard veteran Ethan Bridger having a PTSD episode in the middle of the night. She assumes he has a sleepwalking problem and brushes him off by saying, “You should go have that checked out—and warn your friends about it.” Her thoughtless words sting and fuel Ethan’s own fears that no woman could ever understand what he’s going through.
When is the last time you made a false assumption? Yesterday? Five minutes ago?
Case in point. Recently, my wonderful husband didn’t take out the trash, and I quickly judged that he had forgotten. Turns out, he didn’t take out the trash because our toddler had already woken prematurely once that evening, and he wanted to make as little noise as possible.
Instead of jumping to conclusions, we must first seek to understand the other person’s perspective and put ourselves in his shoes.
Doing so requires a mindset shift. Philippians 2:4 tells us, “Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others” (NKJV). Seeking to truly understand another person means putting that individual first and cultivating an attitude of humility: thinking of our interests less and his interests more.
Mistake #2: Believing Failure Defines Her
Failure dogs Avery’s every step. So far, she has failed to bring the mob boss responsible for her foster brother’s death to justice. She has failed to protect her colleague. She has failed to keep her goddaughter safe, and she has failed to arrange a prisoner swap for the mob boss’s impossible ransom demand.
If we’re honest, you and I are no strangers to failure and the self-doubt it brings. As a writer, I struggle with imposter syndrome. As a mom, I take too personally when my toddler refuses to eat dinner or suddenly regresses with a skill.
The truth is, we can’t control much in this life. What we can control is our response to what happens. Scripture advises us to “be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” (James 1:19). If we can bite our tongues, we can also nip negative self-talk in the bud before it spirals out of control.
Parting Encouragement and a Giveaway
We all make mistakes, but they aren’t meant to define us. Our identity doesn’t come from our mistakes, or for that matter, from our accomplishments. It comes from Whose we are. According to Colossians 2:10, we are “complete in Him” (Christ) if we are children of God.
Today, I'm giving away one Kindle copy of Watch Your Back. To enter, simply leave a comment with your email address and answer to this question: Who is one of your favorite heroines, and which of her flaws helps you best relate to her?
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