Wednesday, May 30, 2018

My Thoughts on Being Adopted by Mary Ellis


Turn on a made-for-TV movie or one of those “reality” shows about adoption and you’ll find adult children in serious angst over being given up. Everyone seems to be frantically searching for natural mothers and birth siblings. Invariably during the program’s second segment, after the commercial break, the viewer meets the long-suffering mother. Apparently she never stopped loving, worrying about, and searching for the baby taken from her or surrendered during a momentary lapse of judgment. These stories have always rung false for me, or at least overly “Hollywood” dramatic.

Do I believe such situations exist in real life? Yes, indeed. But are they the norm as the producers would have us believe? Not by a long shot, in my opinion. I’ve known too many adopted friends and siblings who suffered disappointments or faced disaster after discovering their “roots.” Personally, I hold no grudge or latent hostility for the woman who gave me up, but I also possess no buried affection either. She is a stranger. Throughout my life I’ve been offended by the predictable question: Don’t you want to know who your real mom is? I’ve always replied, “No, because I know who my real mother is—she’s the one who wiped my runny nose, fixed my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and put up with my sassy mouth as a teenager.

As a writer who was adopted from Children's Services as an infant, I chose to explore this issue from a different viewpoint…as the woman who gave up her child. In Always in my Heart, my novella from An Amish Miracle, Hope Bowman believes God punished her for giving up her firstborn son and because she hid this secret from her husband. Although Hope is thankful for three daughters, she still prays for a son. But instead of a new baby, God sends her the fifteen-year-old boy she had abandoned.

Writing that novella several years ago turned out to be therapeutic for me. But in my upcoming release, Hiding in Plain Sight, I chose to tackle this sensitive issue from a different viewpoint, as a biological sibling in need of an organ transplant. I thank God that I haven’t needed a transplant thus far, but this situation happens every day. Although my adoptive parents were the only ones I ever knew and as "real" as birth parents to me, other adoptees might choose a different path. I hope you'll enjoy my Amish novella or my next book, Hiding in Plain Sight, about two young women brought together to save one life.

The award-winning Always in My Heart (novella) is available in Kindle from Amazon, or in the paperback anthology, An Amish Miracle from Harper Collins Christian Publishing.

Hiding in Plain Sight will release on August 1st from Severn House Publishers in hardback and electronic editions. 

Please leave me a comment for a chance to win the An Amish Miracle anthology. Sorry, US readers only. 

104 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing Mary Ellis.
    Keep up the wonderful writing. I
    thoroughly enjoyed reading
    Hiding In Plain Sight.

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    1. Thanks so much, Cheryl. You are so sweet to Beta Read for me.

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  2. I like the interesting twist on an adoption story! I also admire you for not being curious about your birth parents. This sounds like a fantastic book!
    perrianne.askew@me.com
    Perrianne

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    1. Thanks for dropping by Suspense Sisters and posting a comment. I don't feel my way was any more admirable than the other way...It was just right for me. Blessings on you.

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  3. Mary, this sounds like a very good story! Thank you for sharing.

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  4. This book sounds wonderful. Thank you for the opportunity to win.Have a good week.

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    1. Thanks, Emma! You have a good week too.

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  5. I have several friends who have adopted and several friends who are adopted. One chose to contact her birth mother and it turned out well, but it could have been a different story. Every adoption is different. To me, the person who raised you is your mother!

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    1. Thanks Patricia for telling me about your friend. And I agree regarding who my mom was. Bless you, "sister."

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  6. Sounds like a very interesting read. My friend recently adopted a sweet young boy and is in the process of adopting 2 little sisters. Thank you for sharing your story Mary.

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  7. Although I know many people who were adopted, I haven’t heard them seeking biological parents.

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    1. My adopted brother sought out his biological parents and it didn't turn out well. Thanks so much for leaving me a comment.

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  8. My siblings are both adopted (I am not) so adoption has always been close to me - I look forward to reading your book.

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    1. Thanks so much, Jane, for telling me about your two siblings. God bless your family!!

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  9. This sounds like a winner !!!

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    1. I hope so, Wilma. Thanks for being a Suspense Sisters reader!

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  10. Adoption is a wonderful miracle for both children and families.

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    1. I couldn't agree with you more, Desdemona!! Thanks for leaving me a comment!!

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  11. I have known many adopted people. I even have a couple cousins that were adopted. You forget that they are because they are so much a part of the family. I babysat (as a teen) foe many years to an adopted brother and sister. Without adoption there are many families that wouldn't have the joy of children in their lives.

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    1. Very well said, Megsmon! We usually only get one family, mine and your cousins happened to be adopted. Thanks!!

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  12. Thank you for sharing. Would love to read i this book. Thanks for the chance at the giveaway.
    faithdcreech at gmail dot com

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    1. Thanks for leaving me a comment, Faith. You and everyone else who leaves a comment is entered in the drawing.

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  13. Blessings Mary and thank you for sharing your heart with us. My cousins children are adopted. Amish fiction is a favorite of mine.
    marypopmom (at) yahoo (dot) com
    Maryann

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    1. Thanks so so much for leaving me a comment, Maryann. And I'm glad you enjoy Amish fiction.

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  14. Love your books,would love to win these book

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    1. Thanks so much for stopping by. But you must leave your email address so I can get in touch with you if you win.

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  15. I feel like you do on adoption. If I was adopted I would not care to look for real family. To me my family is the ones who taught me about life. Was there for all my first in life. Was there when I was sick. Was there to wipe away my tears. Who hugged me when I was sad or had a bad dream. Blood does not always make a family. I love to read your book on this.
    Blessings
    Diana

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    1. Thanks so much for dropping by Suspense Sisters, Diana. I am so blessed to have you in my life.

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  16. Thank you for sharing your wonderful sentiments, Mary. I work with foster kids a lot and am always so glad when they get adopted into a loving home. And the adoptive parents are always so happy to include these children in their families. I ask God's blessings on all of them--and on you, too!
    Susan
    se.simpson@yahoo.com

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    1. Thanks, Susan. Not only for working with foster children but for being my friend! May God bless you and yours richly.

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  17. My mom was placed in an orphanage at age 5 and wasn’t allowed to be adopted by her mother’s request. She took her back at age 16 to work in her restaurant. I think this was selfish on her part. God bless you.

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    1. Thanks so much, Lucy, for sharing your Mom's story with us. I am so grateful!

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  18. My husband was adopted as a newborn & has two adopted sisters -none blood related. After his mother died, his father gave him his original birth certificate & any information that he had about his birth parents, but he was not interested in looking for them. My nephew & his wife adopted two daughters, the first was an open adoption. I have met her birth mother. She was young & could not take care of a baby. Thankfully, she is a nice person, who does not interfer in their lives.
    mary-hart@att.net

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    1. Thanks so much, Mary, for sharing your husband's story and also that of your nephew and his wife. May God bless your family.

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  19. When I was 17 and a senior in high school, I became pregnant by my boyfriend, who I had dated for three years. I was an excellent student, an athlete, and had a full scholarship to college. Everyone urged me to abort the pregnancy and get on with my life, or at the very least give the baby up for adoption. I couldn't do either. I kept the baby, a girl. Her father deserted me. He said he wasn't ready to be a father. With the help of my family, I both worked and attended a local college full-time and became a special education teacher. When my daughter was 2, I met my now husband of 41 years. He married me and adopted my daughter when she was 3. We have multiple times offered to tell her about her biological father, and she has never wanted to know. She says she already has a "real" father. I would love a copy of your book!
    eldora2193@comcast.net

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    1. Your reply has left me speechless. God bless you for sharing your story with me and the Suspense Sisters readers. I have felt exactly the same for my whole life, even though my dad gave me my "original" birth certificate before he died. I never wanted to see it and know what my original name was. God's blessings on your family.

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    2. Thank you...

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  20. Thanks so much for sharing from your heart. My niece was adopted. Her meeting with her bilogical mom went fairly well, but she never really talked about it. We were her family. Thanks for the giveaway. I would love to read Hiding in Plain Sight.
    bettimaceATgmailDOTcom

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    1. Thanks, Betti, for shaving your niece's story with us. I am so grateful for all the Suspense Sister's readers.

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    2. Betti, in a random drawing you are my winner of An Amish Miracle. I will contact you via email.

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  21. I always wanted to adopt but it never happened. We do have an adopted grandson now! I love adoption stories. Looking forward to reading these books.

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    1. Thanks so much Anne, for sharing the story about your adopted grandson. And also for being a Suspense Sisters reader. Blessings on your family.

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  22. My son and daughter in law may eventually choose to adopt. She is a fragile Type 1 diabetic. They have been married three years and I know they would fear for her health if she got pregnant. Thanks for the giveaway!

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    1. I wish your son and daughter in law a long life together and a joyous family...whether they have natural children or adopted. Thanks so much for leaving me a comment.

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  23. I am so grateful for all the insightful comments that have been left so far. Due to the fact I have been out of town for 5 days I will leave a contest open for a while longer and select the winner next week. You must leave an email address but you only need to leave one comment.

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  24. Such a unique spin on the adoption story, I was not adopted, rather than abandoned with my mother by my biological father, as a child I used to dream that he would come back into my life and actually want me, fast forward 30 years and I am realistic to know that is not the case. My friend was adopted, but her biological mother didn't want her, but her biological mother's family have fully embraced her.

    carasbookboudoir@gmail.com

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  25. What great spins on an adoption story. I'm glad you chose to cover the different aspects and I can't wait to read them all. Thank you for sharing your talent.

    Jociadam@hotmail.com

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    1. Thanks, Cynthia, for posting a comment. I'm grateful for all the Suspense Sisters readers.

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  26. I know someone that is adopted and he has the same outlook as you do. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Thanks for posting a comment, Hannah.

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  27. While there are numerous reasons why a woman puts her baby up for adoption, children need to know that they are loved and wanted weather adopted or not. I think it's great issue to explore with your writing. The first thing being considered, the real mother chose to have the baby, instead of a abortion.I could say more, from working for a right to life organization for many years. However, I'll just thank you for this opportunity.

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    1. Thank you, Nancy, for commenting. I absolutely agree--giving up a baby to adoption is infinitely better than the alternative. I'm grateful my biological mother chose life.!!

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  28. Would enjoy reading this book as I like Amish fiction. Vivian Furbay jtandviv (at) q (dot) com

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    1. Thanks, you're entered in the drawing!

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  29. really want to read this one

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    1. You're entered in the drawing, Sheila.

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  30. interesting books

    bn100candg at hotmail dot com

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  31. Sounds like a book I would enjoy reading!

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  32. Leaving email. Thank you.

    Gpk1946@gmail(dot)com

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  33. Thanks for sharing. I love Amish books so very much. Thank you for the chance to win.

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  34. Interesting hearing your thoughts on your adoption. I really enjoy reading Amish fiction and would love to read your book.

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  35. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on being adopted, I enjoyed reading your thoughts and Thanks for the chance to win PBond(dot)Pattti(at)gmail(dot)com

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    1. Thank you, Patricia, for posting a comment.

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  36. I am so excited about this book. I can hardly wait to read it. I have to get a knee replacement done and will need to have lots of books to read.

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    1. Good luck with the knee replacement, Lucinda! I will need to have one done eventually. You're entered in the drawing.

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  37. I look forward to reading these stories. I always find adoption stories interesting.

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    1. Thanks, L. Good luck in the drawing.

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  38. Love your books. My stepfather who has been my father since I was 2 was Amish for the first 17 years of his life and we live in an Amish community in Atlantic Pennsylvania also my husband and I have adopted two children from Bulgaria and it's so cool to know that you're adopted!

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    1. I'm so glad you chose adoption, Dusty! Many many children in the world need homes!! Bless your family.

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  39. I appreciate your thoughts on adoption, looking forward to your book. God bless❣

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    1. God bless you and your family, Memaw. !

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  40. I appreciate your comments on adoption, looking forward to reading your book. God bless❣

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  41. This sounds like a good read. I’ll be looking at library for it.

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    1. Libraries are a great resource. Good luck in the drawing.

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    1. Thanks. Sheila, for posting a comment on Suspense Sisters.

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  43. would love to win love reading Amish books!

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    1. I'm so glad to hear you like Amish stories, Sarah!

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  44. I enjoy your writing very much and Amish themes books.

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    1. Thanks, Linda, for the kind words about my writing.

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  45. Adoption is a wonderful chance for both a child and the people who choose that child. Thanks for sharing your personal story and for this giveaway.
    Blessings!
    Connie
    cps1950(at)gmail(dot)com

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    1. Thank YOU, Connie! You are entered in the drawing.

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  46. I wish adoption wasn't so hard too do

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    1. And at times it can be expensive too these days.
      thanks for commenting.

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  47. I would love to win this book. I adopted 2 children an i have 3 of my own and I love them all dearly.

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    1. Thanks so much for commenting. And may God Bless your family!!

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  48. Thanks for letting us win this awesome books

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    1. Good luck in the drawing, Wilma. And may God bless you.

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  49. I absolutely love Amish books..these are my favorite. I read and pass along to my mom then my Aunt!

    Thanks

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    1. Thanks for dropping by Suspense Sisters and posting a comment.

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  50. I appreciate your comments. You are so fortunate to have such a loving family.

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    1. Yes, I am fortunate indeed, Phyllis. Thanks for leaving a comment.

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  51. Thanks to everyone who took the time to leave me a comment. in a random drawing....Betti is my winner of An Amish Miracle. And thanks to everyone for being a Suspense Sisters blog reader.

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